My toxic relationship with social media.

My toxic relationship with social media.

The good of social media platforms.

Living in this generation of social media can be tough. Instagram and other social platforms have brought a new way of communicating. Mostly for the better, and at times for the worst? Facebook, for instance, allowed me to communicate with family and friends back home when I moved to Canada. It was about sharing with friends, family, or just merely people you knew.

Instagram has brought something different, you were all of the sudden encouraged to share with people you don’t know. And by doing so, you could get this instant feeling of validation through the number of likes your posts received. I will completly admit that I am a victim of that. Why do I use the term “victim”? I’ve found myself deleting posts, because they didn’t receive the “right” amount of likes. Sad… I know. Then I started to use it for my business, and get inspired: cooking accounts, fashion accounts, lifestyle accounts etc… Quickly, Instagram “celebrities” emerged.

Definition of an Instagram “celebrity”: “A person who has a large amount of followers, likes and comments. And a great power of influence on her/his community.”

Wendy Dede

If we’re being honest, most of these now called “influencer” quiet look the same (I’ll stick to women): Thin, small waist, large derriere. All that packaged in a very sexy outfit, and a full face of makeup. This parameters may vary depending on the ethnicity of the influencer… But that’s a different topic. A lot of them, were able to start a career off of their looks. A perfect example is Tammy Hembrow (see below). She now is the CEO of Saski Collection, and Women’s Best. Factually, I find it amazing. The idea that the internets allows you to create a community so engaged, that they will support you, and buy your product. Tammy Hembrow account is focused on fitness, and looking at her extremely fit body I’d take advice from her. I won’t speak of television celebrities who got a huge boost from television…

The bad: Social media clones.

Ever since it has become common knowledge that you can make money off of social media, a lot of women came out with the same formula. But instead of being themselves, and bring their uniqueness to the table they’ve used the copy cat method. For some of the early birds, it succeeded, but it has become more and more difficult. An you know what? I am guilty of it, yep! I look at my Instagram feed and see the transformation. When I started, I would first wonder: what do people want to see? And then proceed to take pictures… My body type being very different as the big influencers, I tried to focus more on fashion. But a style that was popular and mainstream, not me at all. It’s only when I embraced my uniqueness that I was able to connect with a community of women with the same interests as me. I realized that a lot of us craved that authentic, raw representation of what most women look like. Not all of us are in competition to get the most exposure, brand deals etc… Some of us, want to share: knowledge, skills, opinions and much more.

This is me at an event sponsored by Garnier France, for the launch of their new hair mask line #UltraDoux. We didn’t know each other, but I went to her, complimented her look and asked if she wanted to take some pictures together. And that was it… The energy during the event was so positive, and uplifting. That’s when I realized, it is possible to be myself support other women without expecting a thing in return. I can, and will give without any other expectations but to leave a positive mark everywhere I go. Wether in the real world, or the internets. I’m done fronting, and comparing myself. I do not fit anybody else’s mold, and I am ok with that.

Shop my look

Much love,

Dydy xoxo

Wendy Dede
Wendy Dede

Find me on: Web | Instagram


  1. Shawnaci
    October 22, 2019 / 10:34 am

    This is so true! It’s so easy to try to fit the mold that social media wants us to fit in! So proud of you for just being YOU!

    • October 25, 2019 / 8:16 am

      Thank you! It’s not easy, but I’m willing to make a conscious effort to be as truthful as possible. I’m taking a break from Instagram at the moment. I will still post stories if I genuinely feel like it, but not because of the algorithm obsession.

  2. November 4, 2019 / 10:16 am

    Hey! Thank you for writing such a genuine post! I just read this and it really resonated with me as I have experienced the same pressures of social media and because of this I took a two year break. However I just started posting again for the first time in two years and this time I around I’m promising myself that I’m going to change my relationship with social media for the better and post content that is true to me and my heart. Anyways good for you! Wish you the best of luck!
    xo – sarah

    • November 4, 2019 / 12:37 pm

      WooW! It really is shocking to see how much of an impact this little app can have. As you said, let’s stay true to our hearts. Otherwise it becomes a burden… when we should be excited to create. Thank you! Wishing you the best as well 😊🙏🏿❤️

  3. November 29, 2019 / 3:04 am

    I really love your take on this. I think everyone should fully be themselves on social media but I obviously understand the pressure to try and copy others to ‘succeed’. I’m glad you’re doing so well for yourself, being yourself! Very refreshing.

    Hannah x

    • December 4, 2019 / 2:24 pm

      Thank you so much Hannah! I very much appreciate your kind words. It is hard indeed. But I try to make a conscious effort to not rush things out… Much love! Wendy xcoxo

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